I am a procrastinator. I’m so damn good at procrastinating, my household is a disorganized mess. Sure, I can run the vacuum around the middle of the rooms, but there’s still always that pile of “stuff” tucked away in corners and under things. I’m tired of it. I’ve been tired of it for over a year now, but with the hours I was working my opportunities to try to deal with the mess were slim to none.
Last week I started a new job. I’m still in the same industry – vegetable packaging – but the job is less stressful and best of all, I have two or three days each week where no matter how late the packhouse runs, I’m done at five. Once the other girl is back from vacation, I also get every other Saturday off. So now I’ve got time and since time, like money, can only be spent once, I want to spend my time wisely and start digging myself out of this mess.
On the Sunday just passed, I started with the garbage at my front door. I don’t have a garage, so during the week (s) all of my garbage gets stored beside the entrance to my home. Combine garbage men who throw away my garbage can lids with two neighborhood cat ladies, possums, squirrels, birds and me being a lazy ass and the result is rather gross. I really should have snapped a before picture so that no matter how messy your house might be, you could tell yourself at least it isn’t as bad as mine.
The worst part of being a chronic procrastinator is that when you try to do anything, there ends up being three or four bazillion other things you have to do before you can accomplish that one goal you wanted to achieve. Normally once I’ve hit the third obstacle in my path I decide I need a nap and that’s the end of getting something, or even anything, actually done.
On Sunday, the first thing I needed to do was buy a new garbage can – one with a lid. I researched my options online while fucking around on Facebook and then I went to town. I bought the biggest can I could that the garbage men would still pick up, paid my $65 and headed home with it. Then I grabbed the ripped open garbage bag (I think that was my cat) off of the deck and re-bagged it, followed by the accumulated (as in I would not have been surprised to see Christmas wrapping paper in there) garbage from the other three lidless garbage cans.
Once the first one was empty, I took it to the back of the house (the only place I have a working outdoor faucet since I left my hose hooked up to the front one many winters ago and froze the faucet) and encountered the brand new hose nozzle trauma. After wrestling it out of the packaging (honestly, why do they make it so hard to get things opened?) I hooked it up to the hose. I turned on the water and set the nozzle to jet, and discovered that “reduced flow” has hit even hose nozzles. Seriously, I can piss harder than the jet setting on that nozzle.
Distraction number one identified, I headed for my tools to see if I could turn it into a full flow nozzle. Which is where I encountered distraction number two – my shed. Actually, my shed and the stack of tires in it. Full sized Jeep tires. I have never owned a Jeep or Jeep tires, but apparently Asshat #1 is making free with my storage space. Usually that would be another cue to go take a nap, but I reminded myself it took six years to get to this point so it won’t all get cleaned up in one day – and then ran up town again for a new hose nozzle.
Once I was back home, I scrubbed out every can (with my for real jet nozzle) and then the deck got hosed down to deal with the soggy bread crusts my effing cat pulled out of that ripped open garbage bag.
Since I recently read this article that said we need to replace “to do” lists with “done” lists….
The next night, I even fixed my flip-flop while recycling a bread tag.
So that counts as two things on the “done” list.
Come back tomorrow (or the next day or maybe the one after that) to find out why I hate my barbecue and how I felt about being called out by my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend for calling him a cheap asshole on Facebook.