From Here to There

Because Half-Assed Only Works For So Long

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From Ranting To Ridiculous

A1 is officially moved in. He brought his TV and X-Box home tonight. He also brought the pet I forgot about.

A1's SnakeI am truly relieved and happy that he’s moved back – honest I am. But that doesn’t mean I’m not feeling out of sorts and a bit edgy now. In other words, I’ve been a bear all weekend. Short-tempered and impatient, I’ve yelled at the dogs all day to go lay down. There is nothing I hate worse than being in one of these moods. Every noise, no matter how small is like fingernails on a chalkboard, so of course two x 4 sets of toenails clicky clacking across the floors are not small potatoes at the moment.

I’ve ranted about the stupid leaves that are the size of dinner plates – so frigging big my leaf blower can’t blow them – and let me tell you that leaf blower can send dog turds three yards over. I’ve ranted about the long gone neighbor who wouldn’t trim the suckers that came up from a tree stump and years later are now the tree with the dinner plate leaves. Honestly when it comes time to do leaves I wish I could take a chain saw to every tree in the neighborhood – starting with the eight or so growing through chain link fencing in back of my house. The ones I wanted my ex to cut down – but like the long gone neighbors – he couldn’t bear to cut down a living tree. Never mind they were only as big around as twigs then.

But ranting about the long gone neighbors reminded me of how damn ridiculous they were. They used to call each other “lover”, he always wore bicycle shorts, which should never be worn by a fifty year old man who doesn’t ride a bike. I never knew where to look when I was talking to him there was just so much awful to see. She was a lot younger than him, and I swear she took every word that dropped from his lips as gospel. He had her out in the yard for an entire week working on the brakes of their car. All the wheels were off and it was held up off the ground by a miscellaneous assortment of lumber. It’s a wonder the car never fell on her.

They had a patio door across the front of the house with a wide open view of the lake. Since everyone likes a view when they exercise, that was where she located her ski-machine. All of the kids at the bus stop one morning got a view too – because she liked to exercise naked. Then they got a dog, and positioned the chain so it ended at least three feet from the step. My ex spent a lot of time in his car while it warmed up in the morning that winter, since it was right around the time she would bring the dog out, tie him up and come back out for him ten minutes later – buck naked the entire time.

I never worried much about it – she didn’t believe in shaving her legs or armpits so I’m pretty sure the bush was epic.

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TToT – I Can Do This!

I’ve never linked up with Ten Things of Thankful before, but I think this week I can actually count ten so I can finally do this!

A1 is officially moving back home. While it means giving up my office, it also means I get my living room back. The guy goes to bed before 10 every night and having to tip-toe through the house hasn’t been cool. He didn’t get the family night-owl tendencies that’s for sure.

corner of my office

A1 is okay with sleeping in a lavender bedroom. He says with the light off it looks grey and “isn’t lavender supposed to be restful?”, which means I don’t have to paint this weekend.

A3 - AKA Jackson

A3 – AKA my sons dog – has settled down nicely this week. While stuffies are still being disemboweled on a regular basis, at least he understands I’m not here to play with him all day. I haven’t yet come up with a solution to the river of toilet water. If I put a water dish down, he’ll try to swim in it. I wonder if they sell giant hamster water bottles? You know the ones with the spout and the metal ball that the animal licks for water?

Shaved Eyebrows

I’m thankful that eyebrows do grow back since A2 decided to shave his off this week. He’s been comically inventive with the Sharpie markers, but the Charlie brown effect is wearing thin.

I’m thankful I have such an awesome leaf blower and that the leaves are finally all down. I have a feeling this will probably be the last weekend to take care of them or risk having them covered over by snow.

I’m thankful the OPP is finally following up on my stolen purse. Nearly a month after the fact they asked if I could find out the time and location for when the thief tried to draw money off my credit card.

Empty herb pot

I’m thankful I wasn’t really attached to the idea of growing indoor herbs. The oregano, thyme and catnip have been overgrazed by A3. I would have liked to have kept the bay – but these things happen. Better luck next year.

I’m super thankful I finally know enough about this blogging thing to really personalize a blog, because I decided to start a second one this week. I am really happy with how it looks – now I just need more content. Did I mention how much I appreciate working a job with normal hours again?

I’m thankful I finally work a job that has real weekends again. With leaves to deal with, two blogs to run, and a home office to move there’s no way to get it all done on Sunday. This way I still have time for laundry and grocery shopping and family.

Lastly, I’m thankful that all weekend is cheap hydro. I need it with all the extra laundry that comes with A1. Have I mentioned before how many showers that boy takes? Time of use billing can bite me.

I think that’s ten. I hope it’s ten, because I’m all out now.

 

 

Ten Things of Thankful

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Two At Home Again

Yesterday my youngest decided to shave his eyebrows off. Today he drew himself a set with a sharpie marker. He’s 19 – if you were hoping boys eventually out-grow stupid.

Shaved EyebrowsAnd it’s official, I’m going to have two living at home again.

On the plus side after a year of living on his own, A1 is a lot less picky about meals. He’s learned something we all learn once we leave home – a peanut butter sandwich tastes like ambrosia as long as you don’t have to make it. And I get to cook more meals that I like but A2 won’t touch. It’s kind of hard to eat a huge ass pot of chili on your own and a week of chili for lunch and dinner doesn’t make me good company for me when I’m driving all day.

On the minus side my hot water tank gets drained on a regular basis – which makes me happy it’s a small one. I can’t imagine my water bills if he was draining a big one every morning. I’ve also got the dirty towels to prove it. Note to self: install towel rod on A1’s “new” bedroom door.

On the plus side A1 is more intimidating than I am, which should nicely drive away some of A2’s more “sketchy” friends. My house will become the much less desirable hang-out for the group.

On the minus side A1 and A2 still like to rough-house and argue – in my very tiny living room. This is why I don’t have nice things – inevitably the thing I most loved would be the first victim.

On the plus side my dog is happy to have his full “pack” back. He missed A1 when he moved out. He moped and pouted for at least a month.

On the minus side we get Jackson – who I should just call A3 – too. Last Friday I took both dogs with me to run to Canadian Tire and I shit you not mine looked at me and if he could talk he would have said “Do we really have to take that asshole too?”, but really A3 is settling down a bit. I may have been too relaxed with my kids, but I’ve got no problem telling the dogs to go lay down or squirting them with a water bottle when they won’t get the hell out of my kitchen.

On the plus side we get Jackson – AKA A3 – who makes a far more intimidating guard dog than Louie the Lovebug.

On the minus side we get a river of toilet water that may or may not contain shit particles.

In the end though, I’m actually relieved. I’ve left things half sorted in my home because I didn’t know what the future would hold. Now that I know, I can start shifting things around. So yeah it sucks he is mostly in this position because some asshole ripped him off. And it sucks I’ve got to give up my separate office space, but after two weeks of not having a living room moving my desk back into my bedroom seems like a small sacrifice to use my TV again.

I wonder if he’s okay with having a lavender bedroom?